Harry PotterBritney Spears spoof
by Shades of Gray1
Summary: Harry and Britney have interesting conversations...and for once britneys voice is used! Not computers! (btw: harry potter may act stupid, so don't get the wrong impression: I think he's great!)


Harry Potter: Why are you so worried my dear?  
  
Brittany Spears: Before we go out on our first date, I have to ask you a question.  
  
Harry Potter: Yes, I the great and powerfull and scar-full Harry Potter, will marry you. Thank you, thank you. Where do you want our honeymoon to be?  
  
Britney: *laughs like Voldemort but apparently is really Brittany* you think I want to marry you? You are too young-- only 14 until J K Rowling writes the 5th Harry Potter book, idiot! Anyhow, I wanted to ask if your friend Lockhart to read my new book and.He want to share some dates with me.  
  
Harry Potter: Britney! I thought we had something together! Besides, Lockhart is a pathetic.Dates taste disgusting! Have you tried the date flavored Bertie Bots every flavor bean?  
  
Britney: No.a date with *dreamily* him.  
  
Harry Potter: what's so good about him?  
  
Brittany Spears: A very white-teethed smile.  
  
Harry Potter: I have White teeth!  
  
Brittany: Yes, but Lockhart has actually lost all his baby teeth.and doesn't wear braces on them...  
  
Harry: I don't wear braces!  
  
Brittany: Shh! Don't ruin the effect!  
  
Harry: anyway, I only need to loose.ummm 1,2,3,4.17 more teeth!  
  
Brittany: Ughh! Anyway, back to my book.  
  
Harry: Right, your new book's first chapter reveals your deepest and darkest secret, right?  
  
Brittany: No.  
  
Harry: what do you mean?  
  
Brittany: I say that my deepest and darkest secret is that I have very ugly  
  
Feet.that's true, but it's not my REAL deepest and darkest secret.  
  
Harry: Then what is your REAL deepest and darkest secret? Britney: It is a technique that is very helpful at all times.  
  
Harry: yes.  
  
Brittany: Okay, I'll tell you. It is my unique technique that tells you how to pick a lock with only one special tool.  
  
Harry: What is it?  
  
Brittany: the legendary. hairpin!  
  
Harry: Ooh! Shiny!  
  
Brittany: Duh! I only have shiny things.Harry! Get your hand off my butt!  
  
Harry: what? I was checking the shine!  
  
Brittany: jeez Harry. I won't go out with you if you just don't want to admit I have the cutest butt!  
  
Harry: I'm telling the truth! I wanted to be sure EVERYTHING was shiny.  
  
Narrator: Ooh!  
  
Harry: where did you come from?  
  
Brittany: yeah! A little privacy, please?  
  
Narrator: get a room!  
  
Harry: Wow! You mean we get our very own room?  
  
Brittany hits Harry on the head with a flower pot and it crashes over his head  
  
Harry: oww!  
  
Narrator: Good work, Brit!  
  
Brittany: what do you mean? I'm not British!  
  
Harry: So now you're making fun of the British too?  
  
Narrator: that's not nice Brit!  
  
Brittany: I'm not a mean, British person!  
  
Narrator: I give up! You guys are hopeless!  
  
Harry: Is that good?  
Narrator storms out of "their" room shaking her head and muttering something about peanut butter sandwiches.  
  
Harry: She's got some problems.  
  
Brittany: Totally! She actually gets to eat, and she's complaining about peanut butter sandwiches! Jeez!  
  
Harry: yeah! What you said!  
  
Brittany: Oh My Gosh! I can't believe I'm about to go out with *disgusted* you. I'm only doing this for the media.  
  
Harry: umm. *looking through Swedish- German dictionary* the media?  
  
Brittany: Yes.do you actually expect that I would go out with Justin Timberlake just because I wanted to? I did it to earn the respect of gossip magazines everywhere! Ya know, the media, the all powerfull.  
  
Harry: *excited* Oh! Oh! I know! He must be the great ruler of the muggle world! Is Mr. Media shiny???  
  
Brittany: I'm not sure.Let's go check it out! *Sing-songy voice* Oh narrator!  
  
Harry: Wow Britney! Your voice is beautiful, so shiny, so.  
  
Narrator: Harry! Stop Touching Brittany's butt!  
  
Brittany: Yeah, do you mind Harry?  
  
Harry: Not at all! I'll touch it all night it you prefer!  
  
Brittany: Perv! 


End file.
